By Michael G. Rayel, MD


I was in a bus and this guy seated next to me bragged about how well he knew his wife. “I can even predict what she will say and how she will react when I come home late?”

“Really? So you really know her?”

“Sure!”

“I see. So you must know yourself then. Do you know yourself that well?”

Dumbfounded, this guy halted before he could even respond. “Actually, I know others more than I know myself.”

Just like this guy, many people go through life without knowing themselves. They take college courses without establishing what career to pursue. They accept job offers and take opportunities devoid of passion. They join organizations and associate with people they love to hate. And stay in an unproductive relationship out of convenience and not out of feeling right.

They know the latest gossips about some pop idols but they know nothing about themselves. Too bad but it’s true. Most of us simply don’t know who we are.

How do you know yourself through your feelings and actions?


Understand your feelings
 
Knowing your emotions does not only connote what you feel but also entails analyzing your feelings when around situations or certain people.

How do you feel in general? What do you feel when you’re with someone? What thoughts, behaviors, and actions trigger happiness, anxiety, anger, and moodiness? What situations in your life create feelings of well-being or fear?

What you feel reflects how people treat you and how you treat yourself and others around you. Your feelings can guide you in certain circumstances. Do you feel comfortable with your new friend? Do you feel distressed at your job? Does your spouse make you feel scared or angry? Do you feel good starting a new career or a new business? Does your boss make you feel uncomfortable?

What’s your heart’s desire? What brings joy during tough times? What are you passionate about?

When you feel at peace, more often than not that person or situation may be right for you.

Anything that paints a smile in your face reveals who you are. And those that make you frown reveal who you’re not.


Assess your actions

How you act reflects who you are. If you’re childish at age 50, you can’t convince me that you’re mature because the childishness in you is clear. Conversely, if you possess wisdom at a young age, a responsible act unfolds without effort.

Your actions show how you feel. You can’t be punching walls if you’re just “a little angry.” In fact perhaps, you’re extremely mad!

What motivates you to act? Are you an action-oriented person? When faced with uncertainty, how do you react? What actions have you taken to improve yourself? How has your actions affected your relationships and your job performance? Has your behavior shown how good you are as a parent, a friend, or a colleague?

Your actions reveal your intentions. Your words won’t mean anything if your actions clearly manifest what you mean.

Whatever you say, your action displays what’s inside you. Your every movement exhibits what’s unique in you.

You can’t hide from your feelings and actions. They are you.


About the Author:

Dr. Michael G. Rayel — author, game inventor, and psychiatrist — has created the Oikos Game Series to promote emotional health. Since 2005, he has published Oikos’ Insights! www.oikosinsights.com as an online resource for personal development. Visit www.oikosglobal.com or www.soardime.com for more info.