By Michael G. Rayel, MD

Our system has an inherent weakness. Schools, for instance, teach children complicated mathematical concepts or advanced scientific theories — ideas rarely used in every day life. Unless a person pursues a career in math or sciences, these concepts do not necessarily ensure success in the end.

I know some people who are academically excellent but can’t succeed despite their best efforts. Some of them have no direction in life — drifting from one career to another.

In a way, the school has failed to teach goal setting — a necessary ingredient of success. Countless hours are spent teaching complicated theories but so little time is devoted on charting life’s direction.

Many people who dropped out of school and became successful have one thing in common — they are keen to chart their destination.

The Importance of Goals

The long-term benefits of setting goals early cannot be overemphasized. How can goals help your children?

Goals give Direction

A goal sets the road map to where your children want to lead their lives. It also creates a blueprint for the life that your children want to live. People have an elaborate plan when building a house. But when it comes to planning ones life, people can’t find the time unfortuantely.

No wonder, houses last longer than relationships or careers. No wonder, some houses are perceived to have more “value” than some people. It’s more important to make a life plan than to create a house plan.

Goals Provide Guideposts

A goal serves as a guide when walking the trails of life. It serves as a reminder of your children’s priorities. In a way, a goal monitors their movements and warns them if their focus begins to deviate from the desired destination.

Goals Stimulate Action

Knowing the destination motivates children to action and in making decisions. It gives them the drive to wake up early in the morning and to remain upbeat during the day. Having a plan gives them energy and enthusiasm to see projects through despite frustrations and setbacks.

Goals Create Focus

Knowing the desired destination gives children the single-minded purpose and focus to accomplish any project. It keeps them away from unnecessary details and busyness that interfere with their priorities. Goal setting helps children manage time productively.

Goals Strengthen Character

A goal keeps children from the lure of instant pleasure. It improves their capacity to delay immediate reward and gratification. It gives them opportunities to develop perseverance, responsibility, and self-discipline.

As parents, expose your children to goal setting. Help them set up a plan, both short-term and long-term, without pressure. Talk about goal-setting at the dinner table, while in your car, or while putting them to sleep. Make it as much fun as possible.

Flexibility is important when setting a goal. Your children should still be open to opportunities that may come up which may differ from the original plan. As you know, they are still in the stage of discovery.

Regardless of new possibilities and opportunities, they should learn the value of having a long-term vision, of reaching for things that are worthwhile, and of doing the necessary activities to achieve and succeed in the future.

Let your children chart their destination.


About the Author:

Dr. Michael G. Rayel — author, game inventor, and psychiatrist — has created the Oikos Game Series to promote emotional health and A 31-Day Series to help kids and teens. Since 2005, he has published Oikos’ Insights! www.oikosinsights.com as an online resource for personal development. Visit www.oikosglobal.com for more info.